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TAY Review: Astro's Rant: The TAY Classic Review

Illustration for article titled TAY Review: Astros Rant: The TAY Classic Review

When I was a child, reviews meant absolutely nothing to me, as I proved by throwing TV Guides around the house cursing them for their insolence. As a man, I still don't care for them as much as most people who care for reviews do, because I am not them. I am me, and nothing affects me except things I do. Yet, now I am ready to eat those words, as now a review has touched me to the very core of my being — touched me so deeply that I use a doll to show exactly where it was I was touched. Such is the greatness of The TAY Review: Astro's Rant.

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Illustration for article titled TAY Review: Astros Rant: The TAY Classic Review

It's concise! No one has time to spend reading through specific reasons as to why something should be liked or hated, and this review does exactly that. Disregarding unnecessary descriptors, the article flows freely, from one point to the next in a timely fashion.

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Captures the rant's spirit! Having read the review I can tell you it honestly feels as though I read the rant, which it was reviewing. Each word was selected with purpose, and that purpose was to entertain and enthrall us — enlighten us to how Astro felt, and it did so magnificently, and brought my pecs to tears.

Illustration for article titled TAY Review: Astros Rant: The TAY Classic Review
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More length! I always enjoy a good rant, and I enjoy this rant review as much as the rant itself, so it's a shame that the author decided to be succinct with his thoughts and views on it.

Illustration for article titled TAY Review: Astros Rant: The TAY Classic Review
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It ended! I wish it could've lasted forever, but much like all good things it came to an abrupt end, dashing all hopes that there could even be a sequel. And now my muscles are spongy in disgust and sadness

It's not a real lady! I would court this review. My biceps are so lonely!

No complimentary Kleenexes! Having been moved to pec tears I realized I had not the Kleenexes to counter the amount of tears and was forced to use paper towels. Because of this my nips are quite tender.

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In conclusion, if you have but one review to read, I would choose TAY Review: Astro's Rant. It has the perfect blend of moving words and apt length, which makes its so good, you will curse the day you were ever conceived, and swear a jihad on your father.

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