Illustration for article titled Woman Begins the Next Step in the Campaign to Destroy Gamers

In the past few weeks, we have seen outrage and disgust over corruption in games journalism, among many other things that actually prove nothing more than an irritating distraction; ones which have seemingly succeeded in turning us away from anything relating to reading about games, to just playing them ourselves. One such example is the never-ending debate about sexism in video games, and the gaming culture itself. Most uninformed individuals believe that it is a rampant part of today's gaming culture, thus they are attempting to destroy the word 'gamer', thereby replacing it with 'player'. The word 'player' is far and away a more appropriate and gentile term to use in replacement of 'gamer', as it does not have a negative connotation to treatment of women attributed to it, and most definitely does not have a definition that literally states: "a confident, successful man with many sexual partners."


And in the tireless quest to rid the world of the 'gamer' culture, one woman has taken it into her neither sexy, nor ugly, hands — in fact, quite neutral because sexism and misogyny, am I right — to start eliminating gamers one by one, wherein she failed abruptly, as she was immediately apprehended.


An unnamed 16-year-old girl shot and killed 28-year-old, former MLG Gears of War competitor Daniel John Zeitz during a meet up, in which Zeitz was to sell her a PS4, after they agreed to do so on Craigslist. Apparently the girl's boyfriend, Nathaniel Vivian, whom was with her, was evidently a gamer as well, as during the conflict she shot him in the hand. This means she was taking no chances when it came to the sanctity of gaming and the good name of women everywhere.

All of this transpired while the murder suspect's 16-month-old baby was in the car.


The two were arrested when they decided to go to a nearby hospital to get Vivian's hand treated, apparently forgetting the fact that all gunshot wounds must be reported to the police.

Indeed, it is sad times for gamers, and people, everywhere, as this just shows the steps women will go through to snuff out the tyranny and persecution they obviously face, everyday, by people who play games who notice a girl is playing games, too. Of course, I may just be grasping at straws with my assumptions, meaning she might not have actually killed the man because he was a gamer. I just figured I would utilize the logic that everyday citizens use when someone of one color has a crime committed against them by someone of a different color, as it *must* be race-related.

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